I happen to like lists. Grocery lists, to-do lists, top ten lists… so I decided to write a list, because sometimes, the succinctness of list-form is exactly what I mean, without unnecessary elaboration.

I’ve been mentally compiling this list for the last several weeks, and since I don’t have the time or talent to figure out another way to discuss all of these items at once, I have laid it out here. Perhaps some of you will agree on a point or two and I will eventually elaborate on them. For now, here it goes.

Things I find irksome (and/or) Things I don’t understand:

• Bad hygiene
• Facebook oversharers (clarification: I consider an oversharer to be someone who posts more than three times in one day without valid content)
• Outdated political stickers
• People who don’t like others to use “big words” (extended rant: I happen to have a vocabulary that I’ve spent my whole life extending. I’m sorry if that makes me an elitist)
• The Harlem Shake
• Stores with strict return policies
• Public discussion of bowel movements
• People who talk to me about eating or losing weight who have never had weight issues
• Belittling your friends… Actually, belittling anyone
• Large plastic testicles hung from trailer hitches